


Wrong End of the Stick

by 00Q_Magnus, ArielSakura



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BAMF Lily Evans Potter, Baby Harry Potter, Crack, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Lily Killed Voldemort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not What It Looks Like, Sirius Black as Padfoot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-05 03:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18358097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/00Q_Magnus/pseuds/00Q_Magnus, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArielSakura/pseuds/ArielSakura
Summary: Lily and James are happily married with a perfect son. But when James starts coming home late and keeping secrets, Lily grows concerned. Concerns that only grow when Remus comes to her with similar worries about Sirius.





	1. Story

**Author's Note:**

> Another collaboration with Q, she threw this prompt at me and I just HAD to run with it! You'll see why. ;)
> 
> The second chapter is all Q though, with an AH-mazing little comic strip! :D

Lily stood in the window gently bouncing a grumbling Harry on her hip. They were waiting for James to get home so that they could go for dinner at the Longbottoms. They had a standing dinner invitation every Thursday night at Longbottom Manor, James knew this, and yet he’d begun to be late over the last few months and not just to the Longbottom’s.

Their friends didn’t mind. They said they understood when James complained of ever-mounting paperwork. Frank remembered what it had been like before he’d quit after the war to open his own greenhouses. But Lily had begun to worry. 

At first, she had brushed it off. She trusted her husband after all. But then James had started to become a little distant, and he would flush and wave off her questioning when she’d ask what he was thinking about with such abandon. Then there had been the whispered conversations with Sirius, supposedly about work, about suitable traits, positions, what was expected and what would be frowned upon. She had heard Sirius say, ‘ _ -not the right breed.’ _

Lily hadn’t caught much more of the conversation and at the time, she had put it from her mind as it hadn’t made sense 

But now she wondered if James had been receiving pressure at work due to his wife’s blood status.  It had never mattered before, and with the war won, Lily hadn’t thought it would ever be an issue. But Addison Burke had been promoted to the Head of the DMLE recently and everyone knew the political leanings of  _ that _ particular family. 

Still, she hadn’t wondered over it too long. Even when James had been distracted and their lovemaking grew a little stagnant, she told herself she didn’t have any cause for worry. 

But then, Remus had come to Lily with his own concerns. Sirius had been coming home late as well and usually exhausted on top of that. He often ‘wasn’t in the mood’ and had been paying Remus little romantic attention.

It was a stark contrast to Sirius’s normal behaviour and the two of them had begun talking about all the little things they didn’t have answers for. 

The picture they painted together wasn’t pretty. 

The floo lit up behind her and Lily turned to see her husband walk into the lounge room. 

“Hey Lils, sorry, I’m late again, aren’t I?” 

James came over and brushed a kiss on her cheek, turning to chuck Harry under the chin and ruffle his son's hair. 

“I’ll just get changed and we can go.” 

Lily didn’t reply but James hadn’t waited for one either. He left the room muttering about leashes. 

Lily bit her lip and tried to keep a tear from rolling down her cheek. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday dawned and Lily felt the bed shift beside her. She heard her husband making his way around the room and curse as he stubbed his toe on the chest at the end of their bed. Just as he did every morning. 

She waited until she heard the shower running before she wrapped her gown around her and made her way downstairs. She checked on Harry as she passed his room. He was still sleeping, her darling, her perfect little boy. No matter what his father was up to, her Harry would always be worth it. 

She closed the door quietly and cast a one-way silencing charm on his room. They would hear him if he woke but he wouldn’t hear them. 

Making her way into the kitchen and setting the kettle to boil, she sat at the table, looking around at the memories it held. Harry’s scribbles on the fridge; the still half-painted wall from the time they had decided to renovate and she’d gone into labour; James’s boots by the backdoor and his broom set high on the wall, well away from little fingers. The cat still hadn’t gotten over the scare Harry had given him. 

The kettle whistled and she floated it towards herself, pouring a cup of tea just as James came clattering down the stairs. 

“Lily!” her husband cried, “I didn’t think you were up yet.”

“We need to talk,” was all she said in reply.

James’ brow immediately furrowed. 

“What's the matter, love?” he asked, stepping closer to her. 

She stood up, moving around the table to put it between them. His confusion only seemed to deepen. 

“What’s the matter? You stand there, about to head out at Merlin knows what hour of the morning on a  _ Saturday _ ,  and you’re asking me  _ what’s the matter? _ ”

“Yeeees-?” 

“You’re  _ fucking _ Sirius!” 

James -misinterpreting the statement for a question- answered affirmatively. “Yes?” 

Lily stared at him, completely gobsmacked. She hadn’t thought he’d come out and admit it so easily. So, so,  _ casually. _

“I can’t believe you! Have you two always been this way? Have I missed it all these years? Or is it a recent thing? Since Burke took over?” 

James was utterly confused now, “What’s Burke got to do with this?” 

“You tell me!” 

James’s mouth worked open and shut, he had no idea what to say. He didn’t even know what had upset his beloved so much. Perhaps if he asked her…

“Why are you so upset?”

Lily gaped at him. “Why wouldn’t I be upset?! I’m your  _ wife _ . We have a  _ son. _ ”

“I- I thought you wanted that…” James said, hurt starting to creep into his voice. 

“How could you think I wanted you to  _ cheat _ on me?” Lily cried loudly. “When did I ever imply that?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” said James holding up his hands. “ _ Cheat  _ on you?! I’m not cheating on you!” 

“You just said you were!”

“When?”

“Just now! You said you were shagging Sirius!” The tears had started to drip down her cheeks now, regardless of how hard she tried to hold them back. 

“ _ What?!  _ I’m not shagging Sirius! Why the bloody hell would you think I’m  _ shagging Sirius? _ ”

“Because, because, you’re home late all the time, and your distant, and Remus said that Sirius has been the same lately. That they haven’t been having sex at  _ all _ when usually they can’t have enough of one another!”

James grimaced, that was more information than he needed to know about his best friends’ sex lives. 

“Sirius and I aren’t shagging, love. We’ve just been busy, you know, with stuff.” 

“What kind of stuff?” Lily asked, sniffling despite herself. James had never lied to her before, she had no reason to not take him at his word now. 

“It’s nothing really, just, a bit of fun, we didn’t tell you guys, because, well, erm- we didn’t think you’d approve...” 

Lily crossed her arms, her tears drying as her gaze narrowed on her fidgeting husband. He was the picture of a recalcitrant child. 

“Approve of what?”

“Look, I really have to get going, I’m going to be late,” James said, coming around the table and summoning a piece of parchment, “Here’s the coordinates. Why don’t you and Remus come along around half ten? I promise, love, you’ll see exactly what Pads and I have been up to. Bring Harry, he’ll love it.” 

Lily couldn’t say anything as her husband gave her a sheepish grin and an apologetic look before he disapparated,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing Lily had done after James had disappeared, was to floo Remus. 

He had come over immediately as Sirius had also left the house at a previously unheard of hour. 

They had spent the morning playing with Harry and pondering over what it was their husbands thought they had to keep from them if they weren’t being intimate with one another. 

The cuckoo chimed the half hour past ten, and Remus and Lily shared a look. 

Gathering Harry into her arms and snagging an extra coat for him, the weather had taken a turn for the worse recently, they apparated to the coordinates that James had left. 

They appeared under what looked to be some bleachers. 

“Are we in the muggle world, do you suppose?” Remus asked, looking around curiously. 

“What on earth are they doing in the muggle world that they couldn't tell us about?” Lily asked in lieu of a reply. 

They ducked out from under the bleachers and made their way to the front of the stands. 

They passed a woman wearing a shirt with the slogan, ‘Do it Doggy Style’ written across the front in bold lettering. 

Remus’s eyebrows rose as he shared a dubious look with Lily. 

Finally exiting the small runway, they found themselves looking out over an oval. It was completely covered in grass and there were all sorts of strange objects in front of them. 

It almost looked like a child’s playground, what with the seesaw and the tunnel. Though there were also jumps that looked like they belonged at a horse sporting event. But one for very small ponies. 

They saw a row of empty seats along the front and made their way towards them. Sitting down and trying to ascertain from the people around them what was happening and what it was they had walked into. There was a dog barking in the distance and an announcer speaking over a crackling PA system. 

“ _ That was ‘Quick Trot’ with a time of thirty-three point three two six seconds. It’s the time to beat folks, and our last contestant for this event is coming out. _ ”

“Oh no,” Remus said, his eyes wide as he looked into the ring. 

Lily turned to question him but was interrupted by Harry’s excited squeal. She turned her head to look in the direction her delighted son was pointing. 

“Padfo’!”

“ _ Please welcome James Potter and ‘Maraudering Mischief’ Padfoot! It’s their first-time folks, so let’s give them a big hand!” _

Lily’s jaw dropped as the crowd whooped and applauded politely. Sirius, in his guise of Padfoot, woofed and wagged his tail at the noise. James waved one hand in the air before bending down to whisper to Sirius and unclip his lead. 

“Padfo’!” said Harry again, trying to wriggle his way off Lily’s lap. 

“No, sweetie, you have to wait,” Lily murmured instinctively, “Padfoot’s... busy.”

Remus’s disbelieving snort met her ears but she couldn’t spare him a glance as she watched James and Sirius lineup between the flags. 

“ _ And they’re off! Oh, that first jump is a beauty! He cleared that with a lot to spare, over the ramp and Padfoot’s taking to the course like a duck to water. The next three jumps are tricky, but- he’s managed it! And with such precision too! No time lost on those turns, up to the seesaw- oh! He’s done it! Made the contact, always tricky for a new dog, but James Potter has trained him well-” _

Remus snorted again and Lily couldn’t help but let out an incredulous laugh as she watched her husband and his friend run around the obstacle course. 

“ _ Into the tunnel… and out the other side, the dog walk is more like a cake walk for this fine fellow, and around, up over the jump… good height there. Through the hoop and back into the tunnel. Will he make the turn? It’s a tight one, and oh yes, he’s done it! Into the weave! And what a technique! Look at that double paw! He looks set to beat the timer! Can he do it? Have a look at the clock! Have a look at the clock! Over the last jump- and he’s done it! Thirty-two point nine two four! They’ve done it! Padfoot and James Potter have won the Agility Contest! Congratulations!” _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lily and Remus were waiting for James and Padfoot as they left the ring, Harry was on his feet and reaching for the big black dog as they approached, bearing their ribbons and a trophy. 

“So, this- this is what you’ve been doing these last few months?” Lily asked, still in a state of disbelief. 

James grinned sheepishly. Padfoot ignored them all in favour of licking his godson’s face, much to the toddler's ecstatic delight. 

“Well, you see, it started out as a bit of a way to make some extra dosh, you know. To put aside for Harry’s future,” James said with a winning smile. 

“Don’t use our son as your excuse,” Lily replied.

“The winnings really are going into Harry’s trust vault, and it keeps us fit too!”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Let them have their justifications Lils, they’ve clearly thought about them.”

Padfoot whined and pressed his snout into Remus’s hand. 

“No more ‘all night, every night’ and I’ll think about letting you back on the bed,” Remus said. 

Padfoot barked and wagged his entire body in agreement, knocking into poor little Harry, who fell solidly onto his bum. Padfoot quickly turned and nuzzled the little tyke, getting down onto his belly so that Harry could easily reach him for scritches. 

Harry giggled and rocked forward so that he was lying across the big dog’s back and started trying to catch his thumping tail. 

James sidled up to Lily and wrapped a tentative arm around her waist.

“Are we okay, love?”

Lily sighed in good-humoured exasperation at her husband. 

“Of course, but no more secrets,” she said warningly, poking him in the chest a few times to make her point. 

“No more secrets,” James agreed as they began to walk out of the complex. 

“And maybe next time you can enter Padfoot in the obedience trials, he could use the training,” Remus said mildly. 

Padfoot yipped in clear offence. Carefully standing as Harry gripped onto his long fur, he trotted out after them into the sunshine, a giggling toddler on his back and blue ribbon on his collar. 

FIN


	2. Comic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here's the amazing comic inserts by Q!!
> 
>  
> 
> (Reading order Right to Left)  
> (Updated: 10/04/2019 as there is now more art)

 

 

~*~*~*~*~  Wrong End of the Stick ~*~*~*~*~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments if you liked the story or the art!! 
> 
> This amazing art is by [00Q_Magnus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/00Q_Magnus/pseuds/00Q_Magnus/works) If you want to follow or see more of Q’s awesome art, here are the links to her [Tumblr](https://00qmagnus.tumblr.com/post/184266895572/ao3-link) and [Insta](https://www.instagram.com/q_magnus/)
> 
> Love and muses!  
> Ariel & Q.


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